BY DIVAGO
“去澳門幹什麼？”
“睡覺……”
“……？”
每次去澳門，對我來說都是短暫的逃離，去一個既陌生又熟悉的地方進行的逃離。
我不是當地人，也沒在那裡上過學，但身邊太多太不計較的澳門朋友，以陪伴坐“移民監”的朋友媽媽為交換，我在那裡算是有落腳之地。
每次到了在工作或者生活壓力透不過氣的時候，這裡卻總是我休息，暫停的好地方；無論我離它多遠。因為這裡讓我明白到，只有自己才是自己的家。
“這裡那麼無聊，為什麼不直接回家，或者去旅遊？”
也許因為地方太小，對於遊客和本地人來說確實很無聊，但我每年來幾次，漸漸地，用一個所謂外來者的身份享受著很多熟悉的東西：回到很熟悉的街區，吃到朋友媽媽熟悉的菜和湯。你也能找到熟悉朋友出去逛逛，但又總能在這個變化那麼快的賭城找到新鮮陌生的東西和地方。
看到這裡那麼安逸的居民，身邊卻又來來往往著那些在這裡求一時之快的遊客們，去路環那邊看看只是一河之隔的資本主義和社會主義，我也漸漸地慢了下來，找回自己的節奏，找到讓你心安的感覺。
回家？家人于我而言某種程度是束縛。旅遊？我太懶了。我不想在短暫的時間里去完全陌生的地方。這裡，一切對我都是恰到好處的。
這是旅行嗎？傳統意義來說不是，但這裡又確實不是你所謂的家。当這些交錯的熟悉和陌生感中，似乎有些東西的定義已經有點模糊，
只要自己在，心定，哪裡可以是家，哪裡也都是世界。
“Why are you going to Macau?”
“To sleep…”
“….?”
For me, every trip to Macau is a short escape—to a place that’s strange but yet familiar.
I am not a local, and neither did I go to school there, but fortunately I have a good friend whose Mom can’t leave Macau due to immigration reasons, and so I can stay with her whenever I visit Macau—a place I can settle down without any worry.
Every time I feel suffocated by work or life’s pressures, Macau would be the best place for me to rest and take a break; no matter how far it was. Because this place made me realise, that home is none other than myself.
“It’s so boring here, why don’t you go straight home, or go travelling?”
Maybe because the place is too small, it’s actually quite boring for tourists and locals. But I come visit a few times every year, and slowly, as an outsider, I enjoy a lot of familiar things: going back to familiar streets, eating my friend’s Mom’s cooking. You can also find old friends to hang out with, but you can also find fresh new things to do or check out in this fast-changing gambling city.
Seeing how comfortable the local residents are, and also the tourists who shuffle in and out ever so quickly, looking at the river that divides capitalism and socialism at Coloane, I gradually slow down, find my own rhythm, and find the feeling of peace.
Go home? Family makes me feel somewhat restrained. Travel? I’m too lazy. I don’t wish to go somewhere entirely foreign in such a short time. Everything here feels just right.
Is this travelling? In the traditional sense, not really, but this isn’t my home either. When these familiar and foreign feelings intersect, some definitions become a little murky.
As long as you’re present, and your heart is settled, anywhere is home, and anywhere can be your world.
Divago is a freelance planner in advertising from Canton. Born after ’95, she loves trying new things in different genres and categories. She is also a professional fashion photographer who runs an independent brand. She believes in creating interesting artwork, and so on some levels, you could call her an artist.
高價硬是一個來自粵語區的95後自由廣告策劃，总是喜欢在不同的領域中尝试新鲜的事物。同时，她也是一个拥有独立品牌的专业时尚摄影师。坚持创作有意思的艺术作品是她的信仰之一，所以也许在某种程度上，你也可以称她为艺术家。
